Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
