4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
