If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
40s are totally the cure
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
