My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
