I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
