did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
