it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
