do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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