when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
