I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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