Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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