peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
