you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
