hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You've changed since you got that strap on
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
