I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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