I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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