Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
