Someone shit on the floor
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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