now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
