I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
