He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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