I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
