She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
