It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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