____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
