the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
