I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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