I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
