im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Say something about gay babies.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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