so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
