i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
