Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
