Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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