so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize