Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
