I wanna bring you to show and tell
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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