So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my being single is dangerous.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
