It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
