I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
