Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
