Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
