don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
