All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am one with the molecules
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
