I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
