"it" just moved
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
