hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my shit smells like andre
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
