Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
