Buhtt sex?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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