He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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