none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
