She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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