i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
