Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
