you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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