Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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